Not in my garden

Kim, aka blackswampgirl, over at A Study in Contrasts, challenged us to come up with a list of things you WOULD NOT find in our gardens. Oh boy, this is a good one. Here goes:

Absolutely no ‘volcano’ water features or ones that look like a pile of rocks with water spewing from them. I mean, really. And that means no rock necklaces either. So often people put a ring of rocks around a water feature. Stop it right now. Go to a box store and buy a pre-made water fountain. Please. Get an water feature urn at Costco. Or anything but the rock volcano.

You will never see my tulips or daffs in a row. And never ever ever the red and yellow combo thing. Smacks of McDonald’s or a Shell gas station. Red and white. Or yellow and white. Anything……..else.

You will not find a stupid bench on which no one will ever sit…… my garden. Benches are not supposed to be garden ornaments with a cute factor. NO NO NO. Place them where they will get used or keep them out of the garden altogether. I knew someone who put two garden benches at the perimeter of her driveway, one staring right back at the oncoming car and one placed against a brick wall at the far end of the turn-around where the average daily temp was about 150 degrees. Brilliant. I never once saw even a squirrel sit on those benches. Same goes for a stupid bench or a chair on the front porch. If no one is ever going to sit on it, get rid of it.

And one more thing, you will not see a chimenea in my garden. I do not live in the American Southwest. If I could have a firepit or fire feature, I would chose from one of the appropriate alternatives…..copper, black metal, or tile-surfaced firepits.

Well, Kim, that turned into kind of a rant, didn’t it? I feel much better. Whew.

Now, off to capture the blooms for Garden Blogger’s Bloom Day.